Juicing: The New way to Diet

Juicing like everything else works in different ways, for some it helped them on their weight loss journey, for others it was a gateway into a world of hunger. Read more...

Juice fasting is very controversial way of dieting. It usually involves drinking juices made only from fruits and vegetables for an extended period of time without any solid food for the same duration. This means no carbs, no proteins, no chewing of anything. So you’re basically walking around everywhere with a sippy cup the size of a small child.

I’m obviously down for any new thing that tells my inner slob that I can lose ton of weight without any actual hard work and little or no effort so yes I got roped in by the shiny words and success stories on the interweb. First of all, you have no idea how awesome it is to juice stuff, first day I was like a kid on a sugar rush juicing everything I could find, apples, pineapples, watermelons, cucumber, cabbage, a potato. If you had it I’d juice it. Like every kid on the first day of school I was super prepared and excited. I had my super sized to go cup, my brand new blender/juicer thing, enough fruit to feed a small family for a month and enough enthusiasm to power an entire city forever.

First day started out pretty good, I juiced some watermelon just to be safe because most of the (cheap) available options don’t have high enough water content to actually make enough juice to last a substantial amount of time. So watermelon juice in hand I went about my morning which, considering that I’m not a breakfast person went pretty well. Then afternoon came and suddenly things weren’t looking so fun my body showed me that first day, that it didn’t come into this world to play. I would say that I was hungry but hungry doesn’t even begin to cover it.

I have a friend called Ola she’s small, like little possibly five feet tall or five one if I want to be nice, the special thing about Ola is she loves food I mean loves that stuff. She eats whatever she wants whenever, of course she’s skinny so naturally I hate her and look on in envy, consumed by jealousy as she eats all the crap I can’t because I’ll just get fatter. Her appetite is scary, for a small chick she can eat and after a couple years of friendship I’ve moved on from being incredulous to being very wary of it, I’ve seen her eat eba then shawarma then ice cream and rice in that order, and then right after drink water and go out in search for more to eat (a small goat probably). When she’s hungry she starts off with a little snack then looks at me and goes “I just opened my stomach” which is code for “FEED ME NOW OR DIE”.

My stomach opened up that first day. It opened so many doors to so many levels of hunger that I didn’t believe were real until then. It opened my stomach and pushed it into an alternate dimension with no food where disgruntled body parts then get to punish you and my stomach murdered me American Psycho style but instead recited recipes instead of music facts. There were mad levels to my hunger yo, these levels made getting to the final level in Donkey Kong look like childs play. I started trying to justify my hunger to people who didn’t even ask, i even started apologising to my belly for doing it so dirty. I wasn’t to die that first day, the juice I had in my cup ran out super fast (thankfully), good thing was I didn’t crack but instead went home to get more and fell asleep right after till the next day. I stuck it out for that day too and the hunger that so brutally assaulted me the previous day was now like an old injury being reopened, so it was familiar but hurt like hell.

I ended up not being able to carry on the fast (not like I feel that bad or anything) because it sucked, but also because it ended up defeating its purpose. A diet is supposed to help you lose weight when you use it with a strict exercise regimen I couldn’t do that because I was so weak from hunger. Exercise burns calories but you also need fuel to do it and no matter what anyone online tells you, you can’t turn vitamin c into carbohydrates and proteins no matter how hard you wish for it on an evening star even if she’s named Evangeline. Sure the intake of only organic fruits and what not is great for your skin, and helps you lose weight but you can’t live on just juice forever and will have to eat grown up food which will probably cause you to add weight no matter how much you watch the amounts.

Juicing like everything else works in different ways, for some it helped them on their weight loss journey, for others it didn’t do much. For me, it was a gateway into a world of hunger I never want to revisit. Not knocking it or anything, but I prefer the hard way which is really tough than be hungry and dizzy all day. It’s definitely not for me but if you want to, go ahead. To each his own.